It is simple.  Hollywood has to temporarily lower the price of movies/music so that it is easier to pay for content than it is to find the bootleg link and wait for it to download.  If you charged me $1.00 to rent a movie in HD and stream it to my TV, I would pay every time.  But right now they charge $5.00 to rent a movie, and at that price it's more economical for me to pirate it.  Music would have to cost even less than movies, say a nickel per song as opposed to $1.  It's just the harsh reality that producers are not willing to face.

The trick would be that after a year of holding prices freakishly low, they could start slowly raising prices again.  With a song costing a nickel a download, a "cheap" stigma would be tied to downloading illegal content instead of the frugal-hacker association it has today.  If you walked in on a friend downloading a song on Pirate Bay that costs a nickel on iTunes, you would say "Quit being a Jew dude, just get it on iTunes."  Once the pricing is low and everyone gets used to the simplicity and quality of industry endorsed downloading interfaces, it would be difficult to return to the Wild Wild West where people have to search for Australian links and sort through quality.  

Long story short, I order a sandwich and a local joint, and some creature comes out from the back and starts wipping this thing up without gloves on.  It was so bad I say, "Where are your gloves?"  He tells me that it's OK because he washed 'em.  I fucking left.  Couldn't deal.  The smell from his forearms was getting on the meats, I know it.  The standard rule is that "employees must wash their hands before returning to work" – this guy needed to sanitize himself with kerosene and a lighter

theadvertiser.com - Seamen have expressed almost universal outrage at Capt. Francesco Schettino, who faces possible charges of manslaughter, causing a shipwreck and abandoning his crippled cruise ship off Tuscany while passengers were still on board.

Would you have stayed on that thing?  Capt. Schettino is catching a lot of grief for abandoning ship, but there are few people who would stay on board:  Mark Wahberg would have stayed on board, I would have stayed on board – but why would you expect Captain Schettino?  

How do people have the nerve to call someone a coward in a era were you get sued for giving a stranger CPR incorrectly?  The other day Mark Whalberg merely "spoke" about cutting up terrorists on 9/11 and now he is getting the scarlet letter.  We are bred to be obedient pussies.  On nyc.gov, it tells you that if you see a crime to do (2) things: 1)  Call 911 immediately. 2)  Be observant and make mental notes.

It has become a moral obligation and a social expectation to AVOID helping others in danger.  On an airplane you are told to put your mask on first before helping others.  Even if Schettino stayed on board, how is he even going to help these people?  He was trained to drive a boat, not to carry slobs off an inverted hull.  In that situation passengers have one goal, get the fuck off the boat.  You don't need some gumba captain from Naples to tell you that.  Not to mention, have you ever seen the size of your typical cruise line passenger?  These people float around the Mediterranean eating buffet food.  You could just roll these slobs into the sea and they would bob like apples.  You expect Schettino to lift one off a ship.  That's asking a lot.

Some people claim, well he crashed the ship so it's his responsibility to stay on board.  So he should punish himself for making an error?  When someone crashes a full car it's not their responsibility to wait in the burning car with the trapped passengers until police arrive.  If they can get out of danger they get out of danger.  What you are witnessing is all the people who saw the captain in the movie Titanic go down with the ship – now everyone thinks that's what should happen.  Remember how many people that captain helped by staying on board?  None.  He only killed himself like a moron.  And that's where the hypocrisy comes into play: people tell Mark Walhberg he is not a real life hero who would stop the terror attacks, yet they expect Schettino to follow the moral code of a movie character who didn't even have enough life rafts.  You can't pick and choose.

I understand that the captain of Titianic was obviosly based on a real person, but no one would have had the image of a "captain going down with a ship" if not for Titianic the movie.

Peyton Manning is the most valuable player of the NFL this year – and he didn't play in a single game.  Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and Drew Brees are good quarterbacks, but not one of them is the most valuable player of the league.  MVP is supposed to go to the key player in the NFL who is most valuable to their team, and whose play is the key to the entire teams' sucess.  

The Colts went 2-14 this year because Peyton was hurt.  Peyton Manning is essentially an entire NFL team.  There are 22 starting players on the Colts, yet when Peyton got replaced they lost 80% more games than in the previous years – all because 1/22nd of the team was replaced.  

You may argue that if Rodgers was hurt the same thing would happen to the Pack; or if Brady was out the Pats would be lost – Wrong.  Just look at the Packer's backup QB Matt Flynn, who made his second career start on Sunday and torched the Detroit Lions for 480 passing yards and six touchdowns while Rodgers rode the pine.  And remember Matt Castle on the Patriots?  The Patriots went 11-5 in 2008 and beat the Jets twice while Brady was out.  Those are great teams with good quarterbacks.  The Colts however are a shitty team with the Most Valuable Player to ever play the game.  By not throwing a single ball this year he consequentially should win this award; I don't see how you could argue that?

All Santa's toys had the words "Made in China" engraved on the bottom.  I guess Santa was so busy that he had to sub out most of his work to Asian sweat shops.

Back in the day "Santa" went into my basement in the middle of the night and painted a basketball free throw line on our new wooden dance floor and hung a basketball hoop off the ceiling.  It was amazing.  I was just confused as to why my father wasn't pissed that Santa took it upon himself to vandalize his brand new dance floor.

Santa is married to Mrs. Claus.  She is old and wrinkly.  I know he's not shallow, but come on.  We are talking about a guy who stops time to deliver goods to children.  Couldn't he have stopped the clock on her face?

Two losers walk into the loser factory.  The factory manager comes out from the back and says, "I didn't know we had a recall".

If you watch The Wonder Years without voice over narraration, 95% of the time it's just people creepily staring at eachother.

No six words terrify me as much as, "You know who you look like?" For me it's usually Cologero from A Bronx Tale, or some gumba that they went to highschool with.  No one ever says, "You know who you look like?  A young George Clooney."

Clint Howard

Even if you do look like a young George Clooney, people are going to find a way to justify you looking like Clint Howard.  That's just the way she goes.  At the end of the day I'm pumped that the atoms in my face lined up in a similar pattern to those of Cologero, the guy is fucking handsome.

Sonny: What's your name, kid?
Calogero 'C' Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That's a long name. Don't you have a nickname?
Calogero 'C' Anello: No.
Sonny: What do your friends call you?
Calogero 'C' Anello: Calogero.
Sonny: That makes sense.

First of all fuck 'Q': The letter 'Q' NEEDS 'U'.  Who are you 'Q'?  It's a Queer version of the letter O.  O with a dick – Q, and it needs you – U.  Pussy.  And fuck the word Qi, and any word that uses Q without U.  Not words.  Either African literature or Chinese bullshit.  Get off the scrabble board immigrants.  And stop teekin' are jobs.  If 'Q' is ever planning on starting off a sentence or becoming a proper noun – then it should bring the 'U' up to the Capital also.  It leaves him down in the lowercase projects like it doesn't need him.  It needs him.

Now a QUick QUestion:  how do you work leather well without buffing it?  I'm at a crossroads here.  I purchased Waxium™ from Timberland, but it's telling me to work the leather well without buffing it.  Listen, there is not doubt that I want to freshen up the Tims', but I don't want to end up looking like Gene Kelly.  I'm serious here.  How do you WORK leather WELL without buffing it?  If I'm working leather I'm working the shit out of it.  "Buffing" would be a modest description of what would be going on – all you would see is elbows, spit, and vinegar.  It feels like these directions were written by Billy Bats post Pesci beat-down.  Please grab your shinebox, but don't shine your shoes.  Whatever, I'm sick of thinking about this, I'll see you on the dance floor.

And thank Christ that Timberland's Waxium™ contains Bitrex® to prevent accidental ingestion.  I'm hungover and starving.  I look like such shit right now that I'm putting off leaving the house to get food in order to prevent people from seeing me with no gel in my hair.  If not for this Bitrex® I would have been able to eat wax like a king without risking a random encounter with the love of my life in the line at McDonalds.  

Blow torch to a head dipped in lighter fluid, nail gun to the nuts, cast iron pipe to the face from 20 feet above, four story drop onto conrete. These are not pranks, they are fatal murder attempts. Kevin McAllister isn’t pulling “gags” on Marv and Harry, his is trying the kill his victims. If a nine year old who shoots a pigeon with a bb-gun is sent for psychological treatment – then McAllister is the next Ted Bundy. I just don’t understand why he didn’t cut to the chase and duct tap an ax to a rake, those goofs would have stepped on it and McAllister would have finally tasted the blood he’s been craving.

No one is talking about how bad Tim Tebow is because the Broncos have been winning, but everyone knows he sucks. I’m in effing Denver right now, and even people here hint that they think Tim Tebow blows. No one comes straight out and admits it because he is on a five game winning streak, but everyone knows deep down that he’s brutal – it’s just a matter of time. You never hear anyone who is not on the Broncos team tell you that Tim Tebow is the Trooth. Everyone gives you the same shaky reaction…..”well, he gets wins, what can ya say?”

I can say this: his wins are a lot like flipping a coin. You may come out the gate flipping 5 tails in a row, but if you flip enough times the heads-to-tails ratio will eventually near 50/50. Tebow is on a weird winning streak filled with randomness and garbage. He doesn’t “just get ‘W’s” as people like to say. His defense has been stepping up and he’s been scraping by. Not much different than Sanchez and the Jets these past two seasons. Yet you never hear anyone saying that Sanchez ‘just wins games’ – however he consistently gets to the AFC championship?  If we are going to judge a QB based purely on WINS, then Sanchez is a top four quarterback – period.

I’ll tell you what, I think the Broncos are going to go on an epic slide to end the season. Something like 4 heads in a row – and Tebow is going to be revealed as the mediocre QB that he is. People will jump off the Tebow bandwagon just as fast as they hopped on.