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Shawn the Tool

Interesting Fact: Jaime Grubbs Dated Shawn from the Tool Academy (Above) and Tiger Woods

16?  How many stokes over par is Tiger Woods?  Once you eat red meat you’ll always cheat.  At least that’s what I say.  Tiger is screwing = cocktail waitresses –> therefore there are at least 16 other chicks with incriminating Tiger Wood’s voice mails.  I am becoming skeptical about the chances that effin’ Tiger didn’t hammer my ass last night.  Where can you hide with this guy.  They don’t call it the PGA “tour” for no reason.  The word ‘tour’ indicates that they fly the Tiger to as many destinations as possible; as quickly as possible.  It’s like hiring a pedophile as the mall Santa Clause.  Except with a lot less moving.  But I guess there is not that much moving in golf anyways.

Speaking of golf, Elin Nordegrin, Tiger’s Swedish wife; is getting what she paid for.  I don’t think there is a better time to say Deal With It.  Listen bitches, yes bitches; if you don’t want your husband to cheat on you, then don’t marry a national celebrity.  Ignorant clowns.  I wouldn’t even call it cheating.  He was playing by the rules.  If Elin married Joe Nobody from Leonia, I bet this wouldn’t have been as issue for her.  Even if Elin was sleeping around, Joe Nobody would still be jerking his ‘joe nobody’ to her pictures.

Secondly; why are golfers getting laid.  I think that the most transparent assholes on Earth are the hot chicks that marry good golfers. Yeah, you liked Tiger for his personality?  Where did you meet him?  At a fucking driving range? The guy thinks about the loft on his lob wedge and course design more than the tournament purse.  These young home-wreckers, like Tiger’s mistress Jaimee Grubbs, are the illest at seducing guys.  Celebrities are sitting ducks for them.  A brief background check would show that the following pick up line would work on effing Tiger: “Greens, carts, fairway, birdie, tour-player, Tiger”.  If you verse that line to Tiger at any giving time his cock will be revealed quicker than a depressed-magician’s secrets.  (Yeah, yeah, I used a dummy deck; that’s it; that’s the fucking trick; now leave me alone).

Post Script (Stands for P.S.): Used when People want to Sound Edgy on the Way Out

“Woods is revising a prenuptial agreement that would give his wife Elin Nordegren, an additional $55 million just to stay with him for two more years.”

If I was Dexter I would kill this chick.  Transparent gold digger.  She is the reason rapists exist.  Good for you Tiger.Good For you.

Of course she doesn’t fall under Harry’s code.

The real question is this: “Who is a better seductress?  Ashley Dupree?  Or Jaimee Grubbs?”



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