Ingredients

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Johnnie Walker
2 cups of dried fruit
Instructions

1) Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality.
2) Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
3) Repeat.
4) Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5) Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
6) Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup.
7) Turn off the mixerer.
#8) Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9) Turn on the turner.
10) If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11) Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.
12) Next, sift two cups of salt.
13) Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your work.
14) Add one table.
15) Add a six spoon of sugar.
16) Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
17) Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
18) Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
19) Throw the bowl through the fucking window.
20) Who the fuck is a Christams Cake?

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