Created by ChrisGaldi.com

Mark McGuire has finally come out of the closet on his steroid use.  Of course this came as no more of a surprise than when Lance Bass came out.  Yet when the tears and remorseful facade demolish, is anything still standing in what was once the historic career of “Big” Mac?

Mark Mcguire had 70 homeruns in 1998.  There is not a single steroid on Big Mac’s dollar menu that could allow me to hit 70 homeruns.  Why didn’t Jose Canseco, Manny Ramirez and “Pap My Pussy” Ortiz hit 70 homeruns on the sauce?  Answer: because McGuire was a much better player.

Mark McGuire called up Roger Marris’ widow this morning in tears to apologize to her for breaking her husbands record. Wait…who is this?…Mark who?….I can’t hear you; your crying….Mark McGuire?….I have Alzheimers…Go Fuck Yourself Sir, and stop calling me

Senator Waxman (below) made a statement about McGuire’s confession:

“Mark’s confession was very honorable.  He is setting a good example to all young athletes.”

First of all what the fuck is up with this guy’s nose? I have seen his face flash on-and-off television in the past, but I never cared enough to jot down his name.  I am finally able to put a name to that nose.  How does this guy become a senator?  If this dude doesn’t look like an ass kisser I don’t know who does.  Plus he looks exactly like the cowardly lion…How is Mark McGuire setting a good example by confessing to steroid use, as Senator Waxman has said?  That confuses me a little bit.  Wouldn’t his confession confirm that steroids give you divine strength and fame?  If he continued lying and saying that he didn’t use steroids then children would think that you can hit 70 homeruns with natural strength.   Hhaa…I just said “70 homeruns with God given strength”.  This Michell Report and National Jury condemning steroid use was the grandest marketing effort for the sale of steroids in the history of the drug.

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