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No matter how many pairs of socks I buy,  I will never have more than 8 pairs in active circulation.  And it’s definitely not because I throw them away.  I buy new socks, and they just disappear.  And to make things worse, the nicer the sock the quicker it disappears.  Under Armour socks are gone before I even get home from Foot Locker.  Hanes socks see the dryer maybe a-half-a-dozen times before vanishing.  However, a pair of extra large tube socks will last me a solid eight years.  And wind up with a pair of seasonal dress socks and you’re stuck with them forever.  I have a pair of black dress socks with a nativity scene on them from 1989.  To be honest there is almost something endearing about their presence in my sock draw.  It’s probably the only common denominator that has actively been part of my life since grade school.  Plus they grow with age.  You buy these things with a size 4 foot and you can wear them when you’re 20.  And that’s the strangest part, that I throw them on sometimes.  Every month or two comes a day when I’ve dirtied all the normal socks, ripped through all the tube socks, and was forced to slide on the holiday dress socks.  It’s the last line of defense before having to reaching in the hamper and wear a pair of foul foot soldiers.  The warning track of socks, and they’ve been with you since the tooth fairy.

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