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My father is under the impression that he needs to back into all parking spots.  It makes him feel like a man or something.  And when he returns to the car, he needs to let everyone know how nice it is that he can now just pull-out forward since he backed-in earlier.  The thing is, whether you back-in, or pull-in forward – at some point during the sequence you are going to be driving in reverse.  Who cares if it’s when you first get there or if it’s when you are leaving?  I actually think that throughout his dinner he will visit the mental image of his car nicely backed into the spot and feel a little bit warm inside.

sperm_200-b36550d19b63e982e36d4705d3194fdbd57a3f85-s6-c10Sometimes I get pissed off about the fact that I was my father’s cum shot.  I’m nervous that one day we will be in an argument  and he will drop that bomb on me.  I’ll be like “fuck you dad, you suck at backing into parking spots!”  And then he will be like “fuck you Chris, you were my cum shot.  And the first thing you did was go into your mom’s vagina.”  How do you recover from that?  What’s the comeback?  I think I would bring up the fact that there were a million sperms and I won the race.  I would let him know that I was the best one he had that day, the fastest guy on the track.

You ever encounter a fucking moron throughout your day, and you start to wonder how he won the race to the egg?  How fucking retarded is his father that out of all the sperms this guy was the champion.  There were a million other sperms that were less superior than this jackass.

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