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Last year banks made $7.1 billion on ATM fess

Last year banks made $7.1 billion on ATM fess

I feel like if I knew the actual amount of money I have spent on ATM fees over my life I would shave my head and start throwing-up into trash barrels.  If I had to guess, it would be around $3,000 [$1.75 avg ATM fee x 3 transactions per week x 52 weeks per year x 10 years of banking].  Three grand is a lot of money – that’s 150 lap dances worth of money.  Had I simply used the ATM at my own bank branch these past ten years, I could walk into a titty bar right now with the money I have saved and have a chick dance on my lap to the entire Beatles White Album……five times in a row.


That’s what I do by the way, whenever something costs money I relate it to how many $20 lap dances I could have gotten for the same amount of money.  It’s a really weird way to perceive value in currency but who am I to deny what I do?  I think girls do the same thing except they do it with shoes.  Like if a girl gets a speeding ticket for $600, they would be like fuck that’s 2 pairs of shoes; where I on the other hand would be like shit that’s 30 lap dances.  shoes

And if you are starting to think I’m crazy look at the real price of things below – and you will start to get a grip on how people are terrible at perceiving value in different things:


All “money” is at the end of the day is what we perceive it to be.  For example, $50 = $50 when buying something with a price tag.  However, if you are tipping a bouncer, (2) twenties and (1) ten may have less value than a brand new $50 depending on who you are giving it to – (even though both equal $50).  This is why I use lap dances as the basis.  I am not necessarily a horny creature always thinking about tits, it’s just a gold standard that I have been using for a while.  It keeps things in constant perspective for me.  Yes I can get a new car, but wouldn’t I really rather have fifteen-hundred lap dances and just take the train?

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