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These are actual lines from DMX’s songs:

DMX the Gay Rapper

DMX the Gay Rapper

DMX the Gay Rapper

And those are just a few bars from the single Where the Hood At.  Listen, DMX wont just beat the shit out of you, he will knock you out and then suck your fucking dick.  D probably hates gay men, but if you isolate any single line of lyrics the guy could be shooting a porn for “Big Poles, Bigger Holes #6″.  “I beat my dick and bust off in your eye, so you can see me cumin’?”  Ummmm, D, I don’t want to tell you how to rap, but just picture if you came to my house, and when you walked in I was rubbing one out in a dude’s eye.  You’re thinking I’m probably a gay man, right?  Or picture if one dude was holding my shlong while another man was sucking on it; makes me gay – I’m thinking it maybe makes me gay?  It’s weird, since DMX’s voice is so cool you don’t really dwell on the gay sadism.

Vince Vaughn's Haircut

It’s kind of like Vince Vaughn’s haircut.  His character is usually so cool that you don’t take a moment to look at that strange patch of gay-hate that sits on the top of his block.  What is that?  That’s not a hairstyle, it’s a failed peace treaty.  It’s what a balding toddler would look like.  If you spun a Q-Tip around your butt hole, the tip would come out looking like Vaughn’s head.  How the hell is this Hollywood’s characteristic example of the cool guy?  And does Vince Vaughn ever not play the laid back cool guy?  We get it Vaughn, pussy always just “falls” in your character’s lap.  I think that he is self-conscious of his haircut in real life, so he compensates for it by always taking roles of really cool characters so everyone sees Vince Vaughn as the cool character he plays in films, and not the one-dimensional actor with a back-pitched sewage system for a haircut.

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