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 Deadspin – This here is a picture of the LeBron X shoe. It’s kind of weird that it says “2-time champion” because, you know, LeBron is just a one-time champion right now, and he will continue to be one for the foreseeable future if the Heat lose to the Spurs tonight.

Forget about LeBron prematurely concluding that he is going to win the finals even though his team is down 3-games-to-2 in the series.  The fact of the matter is the Heat are still -130 favorites to win it all and -7 favorites tonight in game 6, so his risky prediction is actually still the most probable outcome.



What I want to know however, is how that thing in the picture above is a “shoe“?  What am I looking at?  It looks like the bottom of a fucking bicycle seat.  He’s not going to win shit wearing bike seats on his feet.

Even worse, hypothetically, if that were actually a bicycle seat, how long would it take before people in the hood started rocking bike seats on the feet?

That would be a disaster.  Urban fashion already makes it difficult for criminals to run from the cops.  If someone gets away from the cops in a foot pursuit they can just ask around, “Did anyone see some fucking moron dressed like the cookie monster run by here?

C MonsterIt’s like wearing jail stripes.  Then they have the saggy pants, which I have nothing against, but that’s going to cost you some serious foot speed by having the belt around the knees.  Now add bicycle seat shoes to the mix?  Christ, you just took away the judge, the jury, the trial, and cut straight to the sentence.

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