RVJ discussing Shades and Blades:

The protective-case is the only thing that separates expensive sunglasses from cheap sunglasses.

Exacto Knifes are good for hobbying, but they’re terrible for killing.

~Reginald VelJohnson

Let me tell you something….if lobsters lived on land they would be feared.  They are the tarantulas of the sea.  If lobsters roamed Earth; Bear Gryll’s himself would leave the Discovery channel before kissing that thing.

In all other instances I have no problem with women having a separate league from men.  But why does the WPBA exist?  Shouldn’t men and women compete in pool together.  It is pool, there is nothing physical about it.  Kind of seems like a cop-out to me.  I would even understand a womens’ ping-pong league, because there is a slight physical component; but pool?  Come on.

If women are going to have their own pool league, then I would like to see a professional basketball league for short Italian guys.  Quite honestly, I’m sick of competing against 7 foot tall black dudes for a spot on the Knicks.

SINBA -Short Italian National Basketball Association

No you can’t; because there are no differences.  It’s just the same picture twice.

**Disclaimer: Horseshoe Magnets Don't Actually Exist

I have a theory that Jesus became popular by getting his hands on a couple magnets.  Imagine if you never saw a magnet before and then someone came up to you and started moving metals without touching them?  Uhhh wow Jesus, that’s some pretty cool shit you got there.

We spend a lot of time, and money exploring the deep corners of outer space.  Perhaps part of a curious endeavor to discover magic in the great beyond.  In doing this, we ironically over look the obvious magic that is in magnets.

Talk all you want about particles, waves, and magnetic fields.  At the end of the day, magnets are sticking to shit unassisted.  A magnetic field is created as the result of moving charges etc,etc,etc.  I think what you meant to say is: moving magical charges.  If magnets are not magic, then what is?

Does Petsmart® stand for “Pet-Smart”, or “Pets-Mart”?  Likewise, does Bitchslap© mean that you slap like a bitch; or that the person being slapped is a bitch?

Let’s Examine the (2) Sides of the Argument:

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A) Person Being Slapped is a Bitch

A) Person Being Slapped is a Bitch:  The pimp slap gives this argument a bit of momentum.  Everybody knows that pimps slap their bitches.  Giving solid reason to assume that the person being slapped is the bitch.

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B) Person is Slapping Like a Bitch

B) The Person is Slapping Like a Bitch: The slap is the girl equivalent of a right hook.  For some reason chicks can slap twice as hard as they can punch; therefore they also use the slap twice as often as they utilize closed fist.

———————————————————————————————————-

Conclusion: It is a toss up, but after careful analysis I have concluded that both parties are bitches.  Slapping is to be left for girls; while at the same time, if you happen to take a slap it is hard to say that your not a fucking bitch (this goes for guys and girls).

Mistress Traci Johnson on Left

NY Post — Ex-Giants superstar Tiki Barber has dumped his 8-months-pregnant wife, Ginny, for sexy former NBC intern Traci Lynn Johnson.

Sounds like someone doesn’t like having sex with pregnant people.  But in Tiki’s defense, who really does?  Having sex with a fully-pregnant woman seems like more of a fetish, than a natural act.  I guess that’s how Tiki felt as well, and he just couldn’t make it the nine months.  So close, but so far away; like getting tackled on the two yard line.

College basketball downplays the national championship big-time.  It’s like the tournament stops at the Final Four.  For instance, the NCAA slogan is “The Road to the Final Four”.  That’s like the NFL slogan being “The Road to the Semi-Finals”.  In addition, the Final Four airs on Saturday night, the championship on Monday @ 9.  The court is painted with a Final Four logo during the championship.  I mean they don’t even give the championship a quirky alliteration like the Sweet-Sixteen, Elite Eight and Final Four.  What’s wrong with calling the finals the Top Two?

Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Lookin' like a "fool" with your pants on the ground.

Why are people called “fools” for wearing their pants low?  They wear ‘em low because it makes them look like a thug, and thugs get laid in urban areas.  What is foolish about that?  Fashion is just an unspoken way to increase your sex appeal.  So if sag is sexy, then sag is in.  In the same way that snobby girls like suits, urban girls like sag.

If anything, I think that tuxedos should go.  I fucking hate wearing a tux.  Think about it, you rent it like a Halloween costume.  The only thing more ridiculous than a tux, is a tie.  Over a lifetime, someone who regularly wears a tie will waste 730 hours putting them on.  <– That; is some foolish shit.